As I’ve stated a time or two, I rather like being alone. I just putter around and sleep when I want, write when I want and do nothing if I want.
But I also treasure my friendships. Perhaps I have a split personality, I don’t know. At Surrey, I reveled in the chances to get together with people. The only down spot was missing Roxanne Snopek and I had hoped to spend time with her.
And what is odd is these friends are all ones I have met online. Most online friendships are bantering back and forth on the net and that’s about it.
As you all know, I took Barbara Rogan’s Next Level Workshop last year. I really debated about it because money was very tight and it was going to take some sacrificing to do it. A dear friend from a writer’s forum sent me a private message and asked me if she could bless me with the tuition. I cried and then declined. The workshop was a luxury, not a necessity, so if I couldn’t do it on my own I didn’t think I should do it.
Some friends are doing a writer’s retreat next month. They invited me and I considered it. Who wouldn’t? Five days with some incredibly talented writers I adore. The beach. I’ve never seen the beach. Five days of writing and encouragement would have been marvelous as I wrap Paladin up and, frankly, it would have been a welcome break from the grind. I’m tired and I need to recharge my batteries.
It wouldn’t be easy, but I could manage it if I cut out all spending for a while. There has been an unexpected turn in the divorce and I could be hit pretty hard. If things get really tough, I might regret money spent later.
When I sent back my regrets, one of them asked me if I would go if the plane fare and housing were taken care of. The selfish part of me wanted to jump up and down and squeal. The practical side of me reminded me this is a luxury and it wouldn’t be right.
Here is what amazes me. I have always been the caregiver. Others came first and I didn’t mind that. I assumed at some point in my life I would move up the line a bit in importance, but I finally gave up on that fairy tale.
But here are two friends who have said, “I would like to do this for you.” They offered from the heart and it makes me weep that someone cares so much.
They cared that I am happy and have the opportunity to write. They believe in me, more than I do at times. Of course, many of you will roll your eyes as you are in the believer’s corner also. Those words of encouragement are what keep me going in the dark times and I thank you all for being so precious to me.
I am amazed at how blessed I am.