Dodging The Bullet

Letting it all hang out. We’ve all heard the expression. We saw it happen at the Olympics. People gambled, knowing they had to push themselves past the bar to stand a chance to win.

It’s not quite so dramatic in writing, but it feels that way.

I finished the edit on the submission for Jack Whyte’s workshop today. I could fiddle with it endlessly, but at some point you have to lick that calf a final time and call it good.

Then, of course, we wonder if good is good enough.

I wonder that about all of my writing. Is this really good, publishable good or is it just the scribbling of a madwoman? In my heart I know it has the potential to be good. What pushes it past acceptable is the outside influence of my critique group. They see things I don’t see. They see ways to tighten it or expand it. They see what is there instead of what I think is there.

I read another chapter of Lisa’s Dominion today. My gosh. What a story. I found myself wanting to scream at the heroine. NO! Don’t give in. Fight him.

It wasn’t me in the throes of agony, but I was so frustrated. Then I started laughing. Danged good job writing when you are that caught up in the characters and the story.

That is why I have confidence in my critique group. They are writers. They know how to build worlds and lives. They know how to weave threads together so seamlessly you never notice the tapestry until you look back.

In this respect I have been so very blessed.

Sometimes you just have to believe in the magic.

Once more I have dodged the bullet. Joseph called tonight and the hard drive is fine, but there is a cooling fan out on the motherboard he thinks might be causing the problems. He copied off the documents for me onto a cd so I will at least have those until we can rebuild Blue. He said he would try the cooling fan first and see what that does. If I could limp by until the conference, that would be great.

Talked to Will today and he is safely arrived in Georgia. He said the base is near Savannah and they are getting a lot of rain. It’s kind of miserable since they still have a tight deadline to get the conexes unpacked. They flew them out on a charter plane, which made me feel better. He’s been going non-stop with little sleep so a long bus ride would have been lousy. I was glad to hear he arrived safely, but there is still a bit of sadness as I know he is now a step closer to leaving.

Weight loss has come to a screeching halt so that is discouraging. I’m not really sure what to do to jumpstart it as I am not eating any differently and still working out.

5 Comments

  1. Maybe you’ve reached the plateau? Do you do aerobic exercises or weights?
    Maybe bump up the intensity?
    Glad to hear about your hard drive. And I also loved the whole licking the calf comparison. LOL
    I know I’m always struggling with knowing whether what I’m writing is strong/good enough.

  2. I think I have hit the dreaded plateau. Since my knee is never stable, I tend to stick to walking and weights. I tried the Zumba classes and going sideways on it immediately put me down.

    Yes, I am so relieved about the hard drive. I have been trying to force myself to start over with the lost parts, but it was very hard to do so.

    I think as writers we always have self doubt. The ones who think their writing is perfect are the ones I really worry about. Of course, if you are someone like Gabaldon, then you might have a reason to think that, though I’m not sure even she does.

    For me, I know the story is there. I just have the problem of getting it out of my head and onto the paper in a compelling fashion.

    That’s where our invaluable critters come in.

    Hope you have a good day, Jessica.

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