Customer Service–I Laugh At Thee! Ha Ha Ha

I’m home. The conference was very nice and I will have some links to some of the ladies who were much better about taking notes than I was.

Our retreat house had everything…except internet. I think we were all anxious to get home and get caught up. I could have accessed the internet at the hotel in Denver, but it seemed I was always on the run and by the time we wound down at night Kari and I were just ready to sleep.

So, I get home to find I have to log into everything with my password. Twitter doesn’t recognize my password for my main account, though I can still log in through an alternate account. They will send password reset information to a hotmail account.

Unfortunately, the hotmail account also doesn’t recognize my password. After two days of going over and over and over the instructions and filing more petitions, I am finally up to correspondence with a live person named Max who invited me to go through the steps on their customer support page. The same steps I have gone through dozens of times already, hoping for a different result from the exact same action. I think there’s a name for this, but I am too tired to think what it is. Insanity comes to mind.

So, here is what Max had to say.

Thank you for contacting the Windows Live Technical Support; my name is Max, and I will be assisting you with your issue (based on what you selected on our support page), you are experiencing issues with signing in or you are seeing an invalid password error. This automated response will provide you the information needed to optimize your browser settings that has been known to resolve sign in issues. If this response does not resolve your issue or you have already tried to optimize your browser, reply to this message.

First, we want to make sure that the account name (E-mail Address) that you are using is spelled correctly on the sign in page. Then you will want to ensure that the password is the correct password for the account you are attempting to sign in to. We have found that this is a resolution step that many have overlooked. Your email address might be correct, but a simple misspelled domain name can cause additional headaches.
Ie: yourname@htomail.com or yourname@hotmial.com. In these examples, the name hotmail was mistyped and has caused some of the issues you might be seeing.

Next, we have a site that can walk you through to optimize your Internet Explorer browser: Windows Live ID Space. If the link does not work, you can use the direct web page: http://liveidsupport.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!4D45F3F81F297BB6!110.entry.

If you have forgotten your password, then you can reset a forgotten password online by selecting the link under the password box on any log in page that states “Forgot your password?” or by going directly to this link: Forgot your password?, then follow the on-screen instructions to complete the password reset instructions.

The information for changing your password can also be found on our online help: Click Here or go to the following link: http://help.live.com/Help.aspx?&project=LiveIDv1&querytype=topic&query=Accountv1_PROC_ChangePassword.htm

Verify that these steps either resolves, or does not resolve the sign in problems you are seeing. If the information in this email does not resolve your questions or if you are writing about a different problem or question, reply to this message with additional details and error messages you are seeing. Thank you for contacting the Windows Live Technical Support.

Sincerely,

Max : Windows Live Technical Support SR

And my response to Max. You have no idea how good that feels. I have a real live person to correspond with now. Yay, Max!

Hi Max,

Would it be possible to just send me the password information on S……..1@hotmail.com to this email address?

I don’t need to change G——–1, my windows live account.

I can’t understand the Dutch/German/Latvian message you have up in the location/secret question option. I don’t read Dutch/German/Latvian. I have never been able to read it. I will probably never, ever in this lifetime be able to read it. I might be able to answer the question if it were in English, but who knows. At this point, gibbering idiot, I can’t guarantee understanding anything, though you would think I could understand the gibberish in the secret question area. Alas, I can’t.

Or, perhaps you can just translate Uw twee beste jeugdvrienden/-vriendinnen for me and then I will know what the secret question is. Of course, if I have to reply in this language, then we are up Schmidt Creek without a paddle.

I’ve gone through all the links. I’ve tried to reset it more times than I care to think about. Seriously, I don’t want to think about it. My brain has threatened to leave me for another if I even try. It’s not much, but I would miss it if it leaves.

Sending the information to S……..1 does no good. I can’t log into that account because 1) The password has been changed for whatever reason. 2) I have forgotten it. 3) Gremlins, gnomes, leprechauns or imps have eaten it, mistaking the password for something tasty. I hope it gave them indigestion to match my headache.

For the love of all that is holy, please don’t refer me back to the same self-help pages I have worn out during the past two days. I’ve already done this. Numerous times. I did it again just in case you added something new to the list. You didn’t. I was so hoping to be surprised with a link that was new and exciting or at least helpful. Helpful is good.

Can you please just send the password information on S……..1 to this email? I know this one works because we are using it. I promise I will change the password on the other accounts linked to S……..1 and never use it again if I can just get access long enough to log in.

Thank you,

Your desperate, frustrated and marginally deranged customer,

Julie Weathers

I hope Max has a sense of humor. I am trying to keep mine.

Now, it’s probably not good for a writer to admit they are marginally deranged in public. At the conference, Becca Stumpf’s most valuable advice was, “Don’t act crazy. It’s harder than you think, but agents hate crazy people.”

On the plus side, I just about have the rewrites done for chapter one. Yes, chapter one is undergoing another revision. Hopefully, this is the last one. I know chapter one is about as sick of me as I am of it.

Just a little hint about Denver. I had a critique class with Kaitlin Heller of Del Rey and later, as fate would have it, my pitch appointment was with her. Since she had already seen the overview and the first ten pages, it was hard to pitch as I normally would (badly). I was even worse this time because I really didn’t know what to say. She asked me some questions about how the story evolves and ends. Then, she asked me to submit Paladin to her. So, we have two editors who have asked to see it.

Gee, I guess I ought to get it finished and see about the whole agent thing.