Culling the Herd or How I Got an Agent

I was thinking last night while trying to go to sleep. Both knee and back are screwed up so there is lots of time to think since I can‘t sleep. Last night I thought about agents. It was a strange thought, daydream, er night dream.

I suppose I was about half way drifting in that semi-sleeping mode when I had this vision of me and my daughter-in-law Ally leading some horses out of the barn. We were discussing the best way to round up our herd and then mounted up and trotted off. I was wearing some really nifty handmade spurs just in case anyone is interested. Also dark blue Wranglers, white shirt, sunglasses, crystal (crystal is a very pale gray) hat and boots. Sounds like an agent catching outfit to me.

We headed out to the brush to bring our critters in. I on my sweet little blue roan horse and Ally on her sorrel horse. Before long we spotted one. He poked his head up and watched us approaching so we stirred him out of the brush. Our first agent. We got a nice bunch gathered up and started them back towards the corral when one of them decided to make a dash for it. I shook out a loop and roped him and brought him back to the herd.

We had to send the Aussies after a couple of them. They brought back our maverick agents wagging their little bob tails behind them. The Aussies not the agents.

I didn’t say it was a sane meandering, I said it was mine.

We got the agents back to the corral and they were milling around. I guided the roan into the herd and started cutting one out. He didn’t really want to leave the herd so he tried to dash back, but Roanie was a good little cow, er, agent horse and kept him separated. When the agent gave up trying to get back, Ally herded him over to the other end of the corral. At the end of the cutting I had about a dozen agents cut out and then we started studying them and discussing the attributes of each one.

I cut out my top pick and surprisingly, it turned out to be an agent known and loved by all. Yes, I know she would be shocked and amazed to be included in my weird dream. Horrified and aghast also, I would imagine.

Since she was part of the team, we got her mounted up on a horse for the next phase.

When we got done with our agents we headed back out to get an editor. Editors popped their heads out of the bushes and hightailed it in a high lope when they saw us coming. Not sure that was a good sign, but I had faith in our little editor catching team.

Now this little dreamette was amusing enough I could see it as a trailer on my way to publication. How I Got My Agent in movie form. Not sure what the music would be, but Save A Horse Ride A Cowboy probably isn’t it even though that was going through my mind.

So, me being the sort who believes in signs and portends, I decided it was time to start the culling process on the agent list.


  1. So the, uh, the agents (and editors) were actually, um, cows in this dream? or were they people just behaving like cows?

    Funny thing — well, one funny thing — is, probably not a single member of your audience here finds this dream even a little implausible. (Regardless of species.) You even came closer to Kristin Nelson’s ideal writer’s wardrobe than to that of a working cowboy.

    Where can we go to apply to be an Aussie? 🙂

    Btw we just (re-)watched City Slickers last week, as it happens, so I completely understood all the jargon. (He said, pushing his own chocolate (i.e., a type of brown) Stetson back on his head and hooking his thumbs into what would be his belt if he hadn’t forgotten it this morning.)

  2. Oh, no. The agents and editors were very much people. Surprised people, but very human.

    Actually, Wranglers and white shirts are very much working cowboy attire. I suppose I had that in mind because I had been looking at a picture of Will earlier in his starched white shirt and jeans. Don didn’t wear any other color but white shirts for years when he was bull riding.

    You want to be a cowdog? I guess I’m not the only odd person in this pool.

    I love City Slickers. That movie was a hoot.

    I’m not sure if it’s a sign I need to be writing or a sign I am thinking about it too much, but I’ll accept sign.

    Now, I just need to decide if I am going to work today or not. I just hate to start looking for another job in the middle of the rest of this mess, but I know this isn’t going to work.

  3. Yeah, I bet they were surprised. You just KNOW you’d be the buzz of the publishing-blog world for the next week! (Which would be as long as it’d take for the next shiny thing to come along, but hopefully by then you’d have your dogie roped.)

    Very surprised about the white shirt thing. I mean, no doubt it looks darned good. But practical?

    You mentioned something a couple weeks ago about the job that had me wondering. Something about overtime required on the day of your move (Saturday). What surprised me was you said, roughly, “Well, that’s one reason I took this job.”

  4. John, the divorce is getting dragged out and I needed the extra money to make ends meet, get the registration fee paid to Surrey etc. However, as stressful as the admin assistant job was, this one is worse and my blood pressure is sky rocketing.

    The divorce will settle in September or October, so I just need to get through the next few weeks. However, these headaches and messed up vision aren’t going to get it.

  5. Ah, the white shirt thing. Not sure why white shirts are so popular, but they do seem to be. Of course, a lot of cowboys go for the wild stuff also. My husband, oldest and youngest sons will only wear solid color, button shirts. Middle son, the wilder the better, preferably with snaps.

  6. *laughs*

    Oh, John, I needed that. And yes, that’s how I feel right now. Everyone I need to talk to is mia. My computer tech guy is on vacation. My lawyer is out of town. My brother is unavailable.

    I may need some of that naked mole rat soap. I think it might be…odor keeping everyone away.

  7. I’m not even going to START talking personal hygiene with somebody who just spent a week moving and shifting many boxes around and working… and then went out and bulldogged agents.

    That picture was good, though. Soon as I saw it I knew I had to use it. 🙂

  8. Jessica, you are so funny. If I had the time and money I would film it and get someone to edit it. It seriously was a fun dream.

    Re the divorce, I am just anxious to get it over with and move on. The lawyer said they had some of the financials, but they were still waiting on the appraisal. On the plus side, his attorney also said Don just wants to get it done.

  9. Julie, if you’re still reading comments on this post… Just found a post on Mark Terry’s blog that I think you might find, um, apropos for some of the things going on between your ears these days. The title is “Goals & Faith.”

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