Captain Dorion
Well, once again the weekend is nearly over.
I spent most of it writing and didn’t get nearly enough done.
We’re working on characterization and POV in the workshop. I messed up the assignment, but I was glad to see most of my characters are fairly developed and multi-dimensional. That’s a good sign. I was dismayed to realize some had no descriptions to speak of. I must rectify that immediately.
My biggest frustration is wanting to write fulltime. I don’t even want to be rich and famous, just let me write for a living. Someday.
Here is one of the scenes that describes Captain Dorion.
Captain Dorion Description. (He is questioning Avriel, one of the female recruits, about a brawl in their barracks the night before. The women have banded together to hide the truth and keep Gen safe. )
“You see, sir, it was a matter of honor,” Avriel said. “We were discussing who was the most handsome man in the compound and I, of course, said it had to be you.”
Dorion dropped his arm from her shoulders. There were more than a few muffled giggles. “Of course, you did, Blackstone.”
Captain Dorion had never been a handsome man, even when the bloom of youth was upon him. Now, after years of fighting, he was as craggy as the mountains to the north. His thinning hair was a deep, smoky gray shot with silver. His hands were large and wide, calloused from wielding the sword he loved and ink-stained from wielding the quill he hated. His chest was barrel-shape as were his bowed legs. He resembled, for the most part, one of the wild, shaggy little mountain bulls, who were nearly as wide as they were tall and always mad. The personality especially suited him.
She looked at him with some remorse. “Unfortunately, some of the others felt others were more handsome and I had to defend your honor.”
Benning almost smiled. Jeremy choked on a barely swallowed laugh.
Dorion resumed his pacing. After a long, uncomfortable silence, he stopped once again and turned to face them. “Blackstone, that has to be the most audacious lie I have ever heard in my life and I’m not swallowing it for one moment.”
“Oh, sir, I assure you, I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“Of course, you would. I don’t believe there is a woman among you who thinks anyone is more handsome than me. But, your gallantry earned you all breakfast before you get the stuffing beat out of you.”
Ha ha! I loved this, Julie! The last line of dialogue from Dorion was great, so unexpected.
Thank you, Kiersten. I really do like this book, but I guess I should.
I just hope someone besides me likes it.
sounds good to me, julie 🙂
Ah, Tony, I have a very true fan in you.
Thanks.
you write in my fave genre, julie
my feature screenplay is a horror/fantasy, tho 😉 lol
What is your favorite screenplay?
Julie, you sweetheart, please don’t worry about the whole Arlyle thing. He likes attention, and he says whatever he has to in order to get it. It’s not worth your time. The surest way to disappoint him is to ignore him.
Kiersten, I am. I’m done with it. It just hacks me off that it is being passed off as the pansies not liking anything not g-rated. Being g-rated and sexually harassed are two different things, but I am not going to try and point out the differences.
And now I am going to go lift weights and burn off some mad.
Go, Julie, Go! You’re the best.
Yes, well, my body isn’t agreeing right now. I pushed through to finish the circuit, but dang I was ready to finish. I usually try to walk a mile after working out, but I didn’t tonight.
Then came home and baked cookies. Of course, one has to be sampled from each batch for quality control.
*rolls eyes*
had a reply, now lost, from yesterday when they shut down blogger in middle of my posting! grrr
anyway, it’s MY screenplay i refer to
as for a pro one: ‘aliens 2’, but that’s likely to change in about 10 minutes 😉 lol
Ah, Tony. A screenwriter, too? How intriguing.
Wish you were going to Surrey. I noticed they are having some workshops on screenwriting also
i muck around in a few things, julie
at least i completed it, but, like your latest, it’s far too long… more than 210 pages, where it should be around 120
wish i could go, too, but lack of $$$ stops me from doing a lot of things….
Tony, at least you have the script done. Now you can pare it down.
yeah, comes down to what they say about ‘killing off all the little darlings’ 😉 lol
Yes, I am rewriting chapter one, yet again. I should have a perfect chapter one someday. Then I only have to worry about the remaining 44.