A Day in the Life of the Insane

I’ve been walking at work during breaks and lunch instead of inhaling Reese’s Cups like I am wont to do. The warehouse has a marked pedestrian path so it’s safe and encouraged to walk if you want. It’s still a good idea to keep an eye out for forklifts.

So, anyway, a new girl at transportation decided she was going to start walking with me. Not a problem, I like her and she’s cheerful. I do enjoy my quiet time because I work out scenes while I am walking, but the company is fine also.

Briget walks through the large doorway instead of the man door on one of our rounds and I tell her we have to use the man doors. Big safety violation and she can get written up for it.

“I was just letting you go through the door, Miss Julie, but I’ll open it for you next time and wait for you to go through.”

I laugh. “I can open the door, that’s fine.”

“Oh, no. I’m all about the respect. I have so much respect and admiration for you.”

I laugh again. Why on earth would she respect me?

“I never wanted to be old before, but I’ve changed the way I think now. I want to be like you when I get old.”

Umm, thanks. I think. Guess I ought to cancel those plans to buy a belly dancing outfit for myself for my birthday.

Good news. The plumbing leak was not a slab crack. Dishwasher still not draining, but tub, commode and sink are. Plus they fixed the leak in the bathtub next door.

Better news. Barbara Rogan’s workshop is awesome. I can’t go into details, aside from saying she does make you look at your work very closely and she shows you what to look for. I fully intend to use her on all future books, but much of what she teaches stays with you, I think. It improves the writing, not just the individual book.

Even better news. Surrey site is live. I am so excited about this. Surrey is my gift to me after this disastrous divorce. It’s my coming out party. My declaration of independence. No, I am not going to be doing anything wild, but it is just the idea I will go somewhere and spend money on my dream.

I had a horrible dream last night. I seldom remember my dreams these days, but this one I did. Evil Editor posted an Evil ad about pick up lines. Then he came up with, “Hi, I’m Evil Editor. Would you care to submit to me?”

So, I’m dreaming of being at Surrey and everything is going great. It’s the start of the conference so I haven’t said anything stupid and I’ve made a few pitches and contacts. That night, I’m in the lounge standing there talking to some friends and a man behind me says, “Hi, would you care to submit to me?”

Without turning around, I shoot back, “Well, I would, but I left my collar at home.” Then I turn around to see what fool is trying that line on me. Surprise! It’s my dream editor and he has the most shocked look on his face.

He, of course, spreads the word I am insane and I get blacklisted in the publishing industry. Thus ends my dream of being published.